Once Upon A Dream

Okay, it's taken me a while, and a couple sessions at this, to come up with these revisions. Let me know what you think. Lead me into a curtained off ...

Very creepy, vivid imagery, with a nice twist at the end. Good job!

Good ideas here, but the way it's written it's kind of like one big long sentence. I would organize it in more of a poetry format, with line breaks.

I liked this. It had a great flow to it.

I really luved this. I just got the most awesome feeling from it, I can't even describe it...but it was wonderful. The language was excellent as well. It was, like...jumbled, ...

I liked this, the feel of it...I could relate, that's one of my favorite feelings ever, when you're really inspired.

I'm going to be brutally honest about this...pointlessly obscene.

I agree with Firestarter. But I did really like the line "Love shall be suicide without you there to protect me."